What does depression feel like?
Do you know? Or have you wondered?
Depression feels like walking through a thick fog. Completely unaware of your to-do list – what you should be doing, where you should be. Everything is blurred around the edges and it’s hard to grasp onto something solid. Time passes quickly, nothing gets done, and you feel useless at the end of the day.
Depression feels like wanting nothing more than to go back to bed, hide under the safety of the covers and sleep the day (or days away). It is exhausting from head to toe and sleep seems like the only way out (though it never is, and you never feel well rested).
Depression feels like wanting to run away. To be alone in a safe, dark, quiet place to just sob or scream or sit with your thoughts.
Depression feels disappointing, especially when it resurfaces again (and again) after you had fought it off. You do all the right things, and it still sometimes creeps back in, placing you back on square one.
Depression feels like being a complete fraud. Putting on a happy face in front of friends and family, or online, so nobody will know how broken you feel inside. Your worst fear is someone asking “what’s wrong?” or “are you okay?” because of the flood of sadness the innocent question might initiate.
Depression feels like being a big fat liar. Rescheduling an appointment or a meeting at the last minute, only because you can’t face the world that day. You don’t have the courage to simply say “I’m depressed” so instead you make up a “better” story.
Depression feels like not being able to get up off the couch. No matter how badly you want to, you sink deeper into the cushions and can’t will your body upward.
Depression feels like you are stupid. Trying to explain depression to someone who has never experienced it, even if they are your spouse or best friend, makes all the words coming out of your mouth seem insignificant and dumb.
Depression feels like letting people down. You can’t be fully present in your relationships or give people as much as they are giving you.
Depression feels like being cheated. Cheated out of living life. Seeing others move forward with their lives and their successes when you feel paralyzed and stuck. Seeing a beautiful day outside your window, while depression keeps you from enjoying it.
Depression feels like all, some, or none of these things. Depression feels different for everyone.
I have suffered from depression and anxiety since I was a teenager. Actually, scratch that. I don’t like the term “suffered.” I have dealt with perhaps? Managed? It is a struggle at times, but I have learned many coping skills over the years. I’m in the midst of a struggle right now, but will work my way through it.
Symptoms of depression in women include feeling empty or hopeless, losing interest in things you previously loved, excessive crying and sleeping too much or too little. Read more about depression in women at WebMD.
If you are suffering, you are not alone. I am here to support you, but I also strongly encourage the use of therapy as an excellent coping tool. You can find a therapist by searching the listings at Psychology Today, asking your regular doctor, or contacting your health insurance provider.
Have you ever experienced depression?