If You Struggle With Self Care, Please Try This One Thing


Are you struggling right now? Have you come to the realization that you never put yourself first? Are you noticing how the lack of self care in your life is affecting your self worth, your relationships, perhaps your entire life? I have been there. I am still there. I have googled “self care ideas,” “how to build self worth,” and “self love tips” many times over.

The Self Care Struggle

You want to feel better. You want to improve your life. But you feel stuck.

I could write a list of 500 self care ideas for you. But if that list totally overwhelms you during a time when you are feeling incredibly low or deeply discouraged, what’s the point? Or if none of the ideas speak to you, or fit your lifestyle, or make you feel better once you try them, then what?

I could tell you to take a bubble bath surrounded by candles. But if you don’t have a bathtub, or a match to light your candles, where does that leave you?

self care struggle

If You Struggle With Self Care, Please Try This One Thing

All hope is not lost and I have a better idea. I had a bit of a breakthrough recently, and I wanted to share it with you. Hopefully it helps you break free of the self care struggle and find what works for you.

Ready? Here it is …

I want you to complete this sentence:

“I feel better when ________.”

That’s all I need you to do . I feel better when _______. 

This is not about me, sweet reader, it’s about you. But since an example might be helpful, here is one of mine. I feel better when … I put lotion on after a shower. It doesn’t take long to slather lotion on from head to toe and when I actually do it I feel wonderful! My skin feels nice and soft, I’m more comfortable throughout the day, I’m more confident, I feel more beautiful. More often than not though, I feel rushed and like I “don’t have the time” so I skip that self care step.

But when I don’t take the time to put on lotion after a shower, I am sending myself a message. When I say “I don’t have time for this” I am really saying “I don’t matter. I’m not important. I don’t have time for me.”

A few more examples if you need them … I feel better when I take a hot shower at the end of a long day, to wash away the stress. I feel better when I reach out to a friend or family member and tell them I am struggling. I feel better when I do something nice for someone else. I feel better when I drink lot’s of water. I feel better when I release my pent up emotions (think a good ugly cry brought on by a chick flick like The Notebook).

Why Does This Work?

You might be asking, why “I feel better?”

I think it’s easy to come up with a negative list; to name all of the things that make us feel worse about ourselves and about life. That list might include abandoning our workout plans, binge eating junk food, overindulging in alcohol, staying up too late, watching hours of reality TV shows and more.

When we are hurting or stressed, we know what we shouldn’t do. But we may not know what we should do to turn things around and start feeling better. We might feel desperate and like we are grasping at straws to find one thing that will help us feel better and move forward. So do the exercise I have suggested and find out how you complete the sentence “I feel better when _______.”

It’s okay if you don’t know all the answers right away. If you can’t complete the sentence right now, that’s alright. Don’t beat yourself up. Just start paying attention. Start noticing the small things that make you feel better. Things that make you feel happier, healthier, calmer, stronger. Take note and start building your list of “I feel better when” ‘s.

What’s your “I feel better when …?”

if you struggle with self care ... please try this one thing.

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  1. I love this! It is so simple and doing even one thing that makes us feel better makes a tremendous difference.
    Julie recently posted…How to Care for Children’s TeethMy Profile

  2. I am absolutely terrible at self care. I think mine would probably be reading. I love doing it, but I never make the time for it. Maybe I’ll focus on that now.
    Jamie @ Medium Sized Family recently posted…5 Ways We’ve Saved Money This Week 58My Profile

  3. Thanks for the useful information. Sharing it.

  4. I’m going to remind myself this sentence everyday actually need to remind myself of self care, I don’t do it enough

  5. Interesting. I feel better when I walk a few miles per day. Even when I don’t want to do it I feel better when I’m done.
    Julie Maloney recently posted…AHS: Roanoke Sucked. Here’s WhyMy Profile

  6. Simpley yet so effective! This is so encouraging.

  7. I feel better after about my 3rd beer! ? Great article!

  8. Great post! I always feel better when I have Diet Coke and a book!
    Amber Myers recently posted…How To Score A HatchimalMy Profile

  9. What a great and simple tip! I will definitely try this next time I find myself down. Thanks for sharing 🙂
    Katrina Jean Carter recently posted…QUEEN (A Poem)My Profile

  10. I feel better when I take time for myself. It helps me take a deep breath and refocus.
    Kerri recently posted…Step 2 GRAND LUXE KITCHEN™ #GiveawayMy Profile

  11. I feel better when i exercise and drink my coffee. Thanks for sharing this.

  12. As moms we often put everyone else first. I go to the gym and spend time with friends for my me time.
    Debra Schroeder recently posted…25 Great Travel Gifts Under $25My Profile

  13. Being a stay at home mom for so many years really can be overwhelming and I can relate to this. I feel better after 1 hour workout at the gym. That is “me” time.

  14. Speak positive to bring positivity into your mind. It’s so true. Kinda like the fake it til you make it idea.
    Gessell recently posted…Having a Baby in the Netherlands as an ExpatMy Profile

    • You’re exactly right Gessell! 🙂 Fake it until you just become positive naturally! It’s a work in progress but so worthwhile.

  15. Happily I dont’ struggle with self care. That hasn’t always been the case but now that it is it feels amazing.
    jill conyers recently posted…Healthy Spiralized Sweet Potato PattiesMy Profile

  16. It seems so simple, but its true. When things get overwhelming for me I stop and do something that I love in order to reset.
    Milena recently posted…Ritzy Cat Hosts a Nine Lives Movie Night #CatHomeMovieNight #NineLivesInsiders #RitzyCatMy Profile

  17. This is so awesome! So many people tend to get so busy that they neglect themselves. Taking a look inward is so important.

  18. Great topic! I tend to feel better whenever I exercise and meditate.

  19. Sleep.
    Sleep helps me with so much of my biggest anxieties.
    I love this approach and I’m going l be using it when I need to.
    Thank you so much 🙂

    • You’re so welcome Imaobong! I’m glad you like it. And I’m the same way with sleep – if I prioritize it I feel much better!

  20. This truly is a great tip to help you figure out where your joy is, what gives you satisfaction and how to help yourself be happier.

  21. Getting enough rest is always the best for me! I don’t always manage to get what I need but its a work in progress with a teething baby.
    jasmine recently posted…5 Fun Girly Gifts Under $20My Profile

  22. I am terrible about self care. I am always worried about everyone else adn taking care of the,
    Rebecca Bryant recently posted…Brunch with Krusteaz Pancake Mix #SayItWithKrusteaz #adMy Profile

  23. This is really great advice! I’ve been told to differentiate between “I feel” and turning it into a fact!

  24. Thanks. I needed this.

    I feel better when I actually sit and drink my coffee in the morning when it is still hot.

  25. That’s one of the best ways to figure out what makes you feel great! It’s something that a lot of us need to ask ourselves or at least try to answer.

  26. I’m so glad that you share this useful information with us. I really appreciate it

  27. i feel better when i go running and when i get a lot of writing done. i think i’ll accomplish 1 out of 2 today…lol.

  28. That’s the best way to figure out what makes you happy! I like this idea and it’s definitely something that I would advice others.
    Carol Cassara recently posted…Boomers reviving activist skillsMy Profile

  29. This is amazing and absolutely perfect! I feel better when I stay hydrated, yet here lately I keep forgetting to drink my water.
    Samantha @ Momma Wants Java recently posted…Family Traditions Bullet Journal SpreadMy Profile

  30. So simple and it can do wonders..
    Marina @ Parental Journey recently posted…50 Best Books For Toddlers 2017My Profile

  31. This is SUCH a wise post! LOVE it. 😀
    Sarah Eliza @ devastateboredom recently posted…Cozy Winter Capsule Wardrobe — Mix-and-Match Outfit Ideas!My Profile

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